False
advertising
So, I went to
some fast food places (I won’t say “restaurants”, just “places”), and picked up
burgers, so I could compare them with the ads. (I’m always on the hunt for
little projects like this) I brought the food home, tossed it into my
photography studio, and did ad-style shoots, with pictures of the official ads
on my computer next to me, so I could match the lighting and angles.
People around the world know fast food as one of the most reliable distributors
of disappointment ever produced by the business world. We know that if we ever
feel the need to complain about something, we can just grab a page out of a
coupon booklet, adorned in pictures of juicy burgers, go to a fast food place,
then have a party. Why, the places themselves usually plaster their walls with
pictures of juicy burgers – often hanging right over your table – so that you
need only open your eyes to find something to compare your food with, while you
eat it.
Needless to
say, the results of my little project were unsurprising… which shouldn’t be a
surprise.
The Rules:
1 – I only care
about size. I certainly don’t need my lettuce arranged like the crown on
Caesar’s head.
2 – I have to show the most attractive sides of the food, with lighting identical to the ads.
2 – I have to show the most attractive sides of the food, with lighting identical to the ads.
It’s not
disgusting. The human mind is a physical, matter-based part of your body, and,
as such, it has fixed tastes that can’t easily be changed. My brain, for
instance, has been programmed from the day I was born to accept western-world
tastes, and that means, yes, I quite like the taste of fast food. (now, I could
easily just leave out all positive mentions of taste, simply to keep from
contributing anything helpful to fast food here, but I think making this point
is more worth the effect.)
Taking this a
little further, note that there are many things that the brain can’t
pick-and-choose its acceptance of, no matter who you are. Anyone part of a
religion, for example, WILL laugh at a funny enough joke that insults their
figure-of-worship, even if they actually hate the joke so much that their skin
starts to burn, and they feel the need to literally go out and kill somebody.
You can laugh and hate at the same time. (the decision-making sectors of your
brain are completely separate from the parts that perceive humor, and various
other things… In this way, there are SEVERAL parts of your brain that act completely
on their own, causing you to feel things that may be against what you believe.
Fear is a good example of how this works: you never believe there’s
a monster in the dark, but you still fear (and feel) its actual presence…)
So, most fast
food may be worthless garbage – and buying it may give life to a parasitic
institution that sucks away man’s longevity of life, health, and motivation to
resist the failures of society – but if someone asks me, “But do you like fast
food? I mean, does it taste good?” the answer is yeah.
I like how fast
food tastes… I resent what it means… and I tell people that if the future of
mankind means anything to them, don’t touch this stuff with a 20ft pole.
I think this is
something people need to think about… what it means to be rational and
balanced, not extreme. To be an extremists often means to be one-sided to the
point of self-delusion, and, when the time comes to pitch your points – as
extremists always feel the need – the unbending one-sidedness can make you look
biased and desperate, reducing how much the other side feels they should
consider what you’re saying.
I really do
hate Whoppers, though:
KFC has had
this a long time coming. The Burger I got the other night was a sight to
behold; probably the ugliest Whopper I’ve ever seen in my life (though exactly
the size I remembered them being). I’m certain it was just a collection of all
the disappointment KFC has ever served, manifest into a curse, which was now
coming back to haunt them.
I had a
childhood of eating these, but, back then, (they have the nerve to charge you
extra for cheese).
Okay, let’s
give KFC one more chance here…
…while I was at
it, I caught sight of a gargantuan Burger photo on the menu, and couldn’t
resist:
Before we
continue, there’s something everyone should understand: burger
size/presentation can certainly vary from location to location (just usually
not that much). Example: once, when I was young, I went to a KFC right next to
the beach, and the Burger I got was huge (comparatively), and
had toasted buns!I never forgot that… though I later speculated it
was probably because Karachi is known for its great beach-side burger shops
(REAL places), so, being next to the beach, this place had to compete.
MY nearest two
locations, however, have issues. This is what I got when I asked them
specifically for burgers as big as in the ads:
(the one in the
middle has cheese. I forgot cheese on the one one the right.)
A fast food
place can’t turn down a request for a burger the size of the ones in the ads
(they can’t say, “I’m sorry, we aren’t able to make burgers that big.”)… so, I
wanted to see if my nearest two locations would even honor the request. For
both orders, I pointed specifically at the giant Whoppers on the menus right
behind the cashiers (very politely), and the cashiers both turned and took
strangely long, careful looks (شاید اس سے پہلے کبھی
کسی نے انہیں اس طرح کا آرڈر نہیں دیا تھا).
Well… I like
the pile of onions I got with the second one.
(Note: I’m sure
you can find SOME location where they’ll at least TRY – it’s surely just a
matter of getting the right people – but, considering that my first two tries
were misfires, I wonder exactly what the ratio is between employees who will
try, and ones who won’t…)
Back to price… things always get worse at
McDonald:
The size was
actually pretty close to the ad. (though I’m still trying to determine the
planetary origins of the lettuce I ended up with…)
(that’s
actually a pickle in the upper right)
For those who
don’t know, Big Macs come in a little box. Looking down into the box, and
lifting the top bun, you ask yourself, “What is this empty, dry thing?” Apple
fans know of Apple’s famous “unboxing experience” – when you open the
gloriously friendly, won’t-destroy-your-hands packaging of an
iPhone/iPad/iMac/etc – but, well, Big Macs are still working on theirs. (they
should come with little pink, polka-dotted bow-ties on top, or little top-hats…
and, given the price, they should be made out of real fur)
Big Macs taste
really good, though, at least to me… even coming out of the fridge, the next
day. In comparison, a leftover Whopper, coming out of the fridge like a mushy
old sock from a trash bin, is a different story.
After a little
thinking, I realized something. I thought, “You know, these Big Macs I got seem
to fit in the boxes pretty snugly… as if the boxes were designed ONLY to house
the actual Big Macs you get at the place. I wonder if the advertised ones would
even fit…” So, I did a test:
Oops.
My measurements are unscientific, but extremely
carefully done, so I certainly hold my candle up to them.
Ah, one of the
burgers performed! The burger I got might even look a little weightier than the
ad.
I forgot to get
the regular one, without cheese, but here you go. $4, by the way (or, without
cheese, $3.79).
Looking at the
burger I got gives me this weird feeling, though, like the ad should have
looked like this:
Onward…
Well, I really
liked the lettuce I got with this one. You’ll certainly never see a Whopper or
Big Mac with that kind of lettuce. BUT WHERE’S THE MEAT?! It seems to be on a
diet, whereas the ad burger meat was only missing a cowbell…
Flavor-wise,
for me, it’s a pretty average burger. When trying to figure out what keeps
these on the menu (for that price, at least), I think either some people out
there really like them, or they sell as one-time-buys, intended for people who
drop in late one night, and are deceived by the juicy picture… (and have a LOT
of money).
Hopefully, this
is the beginning of the end, for McDonald’s… (even though all I really want is
for them to make their burgers healthier, and stop their ridiculous
advertising). What I think we learn from this is that these two burgers not
only don’t look like the ads, but physically CAN’T, which is a minor problem.
I’m wondering
if the other Third Pounder burgers don’t fit in the boxes, and, for that
matter, if there are other ways to show that ad burgers can’t realistically be
served at the fast food places, given their procedures. Examples I have in
mind:
1.
Are some wrappers too small to be folded the
way that employees are taught to fold, if carrying an ad-sized burger?
2.
Should you be able to call the “Third Pounders”
that name if it’s only a third pound of meat while frozen, not when it’s served
to you? (when buying meat, it makes sense to see the pre-cooked weight, because
you mentally classify that differently… but, when you’re being served something
off a menu, if they say you’re getting a “third pound” of meat, who actually
realizes that you’re supposed to be getting less than that? When they say
you’re getting a third pound of cheese, that’s what you’re getting… it’s not
the cheese’s weight in milk)
3.
I’m fairly certain that many ad shots have all
of the ingredients crammed up in the front. Is it legal to do this, if the
human mind perceives that the thickness seen in front must be wrapping around
the entire burger, equally? (and maybe it is, just with props holding up the
buns in the back. Complete trickery.)
4.
Anything else? Please chime in here.
Don’t ask me
how this advertising is legal. It seems that the law – at least in the US – is
sometimes designed only to appease the God of Technicality, while insulting
man’s ability to perceive and judge.
The law for
this stuff should take into account things like the “innards-to-bun ratio”… (in
other words, if the ads show 70% innards, 30% buns, the real thing can’t be 10%
innards, 90% buns). Better yet, advertising should have to be able to stand up
against an ordinary group of people, who can vote on whether or not something
seems truthful to THEM. (It seems that today’s advertising may SOMEHOW please
the God of Technicality – don’t ask me HOW – even though we people simply don’t
subscribe to his technical glory).
Understand that
there are several different types of correctness… and we’ll see if any are
being met here. We have:
- Technical
correctness
This is what is ACTUALLY correct, whether a person can perceive it or not. 99.99% of fast food locations will not serve you a burger that is technically as big as the ads, so there is virtually no technical correctness.
This is what is ACTUALLY correct, whether a person can perceive it or not. 99.99% of fast food locations will not serve you a burger that is technically as big as the ads, so there is virtually no technical correctness.
- Perceptual correctness
This is what we ordinary people PERCEIVE to be correct. It’s most often the only form of correctness that has any meaning to us – unless we went to business school – whether something is technically correct or not. Fast food advertising is NEVER perceptually correct, in any way. 100% of the time, someone will look at a fast food ad and think it’s just a flat-out lie.
This is what we ordinary people PERCEIVE to be correct. It’s most often the only form of correctness that has any meaning to us – unless we went to business school – whether something is technically correct or not. Fast food advertising is NEVER perceptually correct, in any way. 100% of the time, someone will look at a fast food ad and think it’s just a flat-out lie.
- Plausible correctness (or occasional correctness)
Plausible correctness would say that if even one fast food location COULD, in theory, serve you a burger the size of the ads, then, plausibly, the portrayal in the ads is correct, because there isn’t a natural force stopping a burger that you buy from turning out that big. (it can be argued that plausible correctness isn’t a presentable form of correctness at all, but rather just overemphasizing the possibility that, given infinite time, correctness can eventually occur.)
Plausible correctness would say that if even one fast food location COULD, in theory, serve you a burger the size of the ads, then, plausibly, the portrayal in the ads is correct, because there isn’t a natural force stopping a burger that you buy from turning out that big. (it can be argued that plausible correctness isn’t a presentable form of correctness at all, but rather just overemphasizing the possibility that, given infinite time, correctness can eventually occur.)
And there we
have it.
I happily pitch
the idea that lawmakers are committing a crime against us people by allowing us
to be continually insulted by this advertising, and consequently this pursuit
of mere plausible correctness, in defiance of human perception and feelings.
Studio Setup
I used a green
screen, a rotating chair, and three wireless flashes (often only firing two).
My camera is Yashica Digital auto focus …
In all cases, I
gave the items as fair a chance as absolutely possible, though I didn’t take
the time to buy multiples of everything, whether that would’ve been
to choose the BEST stuff I could find, or pick out an average… though, you
know, ALL of the Whoppers really are from Hell. I want to leave them, just so
the KFC people can enjoy a little, what, maybe disappointment?
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